Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Oh Hello Again

So I haven't blogged on here for a couple of years now and to be completely honest I didn't really miss it all that much. There would be a time here and there that I would think "gosh wouldn't it be great to write something on my blog!" but then I just drop the idea. I wanted to write about something that is very important to me and I haven't completely told everyone about. I have depression and anxiety and literally every day is a battle with myself (even on medications, it can still be a struggle!) Nearly a year ago an incident happened to me that triggered my depression and anxiety into a further tailspin. Most days I'm fine but then I think of what happened to me and I'm right back at square one. The reason I'm writing this now is because I want everyone out there who is struggling with ANY mental health issue to know it will be okay. Now I can't promise that you'll be happy go lucky every single day of your life once your diagnosed but you will feel better knowing it and you are definitely not alone in this fight.

I first realized I was depressed when I was being home-schooled from the 6th grade onto 12th. As much as I appreciated being home-schooled, it also put a huge dent in my life. I was secluded from socializing with the outside world and when I finally did do it I began to panic and freak out. "There is no way these people like me! I'm not like them! I'll never fit in!" These thoughts would constantly run through my head as a teenager and also it didn't help that I have ADD. 

So as you can imagine I really knocked myself down for pretty much everything. I didn't fully acknowledge that I was struggling with depression or anxiety until a couple of years back, when I was a teenager I was at a Cracker Barrel with my family and all of a sudden I went into a panic and started crying. I honestly thought a couple of teenagers were talking about me and went into a frenzy. That was my first and definitely not my last panic attack. I've had quite a few since then but it isn't about how many I've had but how I can deal with the situation when I'm having the panic attack. I've actually gotten much better. Last month I was doing the MS walk with my Mom and almost had one when I saw my old manager but I contained the attack and walked away from having it. 

Another huge downside to having depression is I have said a lot of hurtful and dumb things to people I care about. I've damaged friendships over my selfish remarks and for that I'm truly sorry to anyone and everyone that I've ever hurt. I shouldn't have treated anyone the way I have. I really have that insert foot in mouth issue. I can't and won't let my depression and anxiety create rifts between my family and friends any longer. Yes I get upset and angry more than the average person but I can and will beat the negativity and grow from it. 

The purpose of this post is let everyone out there struggling that it is okay I promise. I have often thought of giving up and just ending it all. I can happily say those thoughts are gone but there will be days where I feel like giving up could be an option and I'll tell myself HELL NO! KEEP FIGHTING!!! 

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

The 25 Challenge

    Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't written my favorite actresses post yet but I will do it as soon as I get the chance to. (I know my word isn't very good but I really do promise to get it out there!)  Anywhoo.... I've decided to challenge myself. Challenge myself you ask? Ha Yes! I'm going to try things that I normally wouldn't do. I think it's time to get out of my comfort zone and really experience different things in my life. If you would like to join in on the fun go right ahead! The more the merrier! After my birthday (I turned 25 on the 10th! Eeek!) I decided I couldn’t keep putting myself in the safe zone because then I could really be missing out on some great opportunities in my life. Yes as you can guess by the title of the blog post there will be 25 challenges for me to complete! I'll just do a few at a time so I don't overwhelm myself. (If you choose to do the challenge, you don't have to do 25. You can do as much or as little as you want. It's all up to you!)

        My first challenge for myself was really (!!) dressing up. Yes I did it!! I thought I would feel self-conscious about wearing a dress and high heels but I felt so comfortable with myself. I'm definitely going to be wearing dresses more often. I really embraced the new experience and for someone who was always very insecure about her looks it definitely helped me feel comfortable in my own skin. 

I've given myself a list of challenges to do that I hope to do by the end of the year. Even if I don't finish the challenges, as long as I'm in the midst of doing them then it counts. Here are just a few of the things I'm hoping to accomplish!

*Getting my Driver's License (Yes I know! I'm 25 and I don't have a license. There really is no excuse except for being scared but I can't allow the fear to hold me back anymore! Wish me luck!)

*Swimming (Yes another one I'm scared of! Haha no more!)

*Fencing (I’m going to start taking fencing classes next month! Aaaah how exciting is that!!)

I'll be posting my challenges on my instagram page if you all want to check how I'm doing and I really will try to post on here as much as I can. I really really will try!! 

I can't keep allowing my life to pass me by. It's time to embrace new beginnings in my life! 

Monday, July 7, 2014

Here are a few of my favorite things... PART TWO My Ten Favorite Actors

  Seriously I hate not having my own computer because if I had one I would be blogging sooooooo much more. I hate that haven't blogged in over a month but I guess it is what it is. Haha

  So as I've gotten older my taste in everything has changed from movies, to actors, to even directors. I know I've done a Top Ten Favorite Actors list twice( you check it out here and here) before but like I said before I've matured in what I like so without further ado here is my list. Enjoy!

Jeffrey Lynn

I literally just wrote about how much I've changed in taste but Jeffrey Lynn hasn't dropped from my favorites. I've enjoyed every movie of his regardless of how inane the plot of the movie is. It's been over 5 years since I "discovered" him and I don't regret it one bit.

                                                      Favorite Movies:
                                                     My Four Daughters
                                                     My Love Came Back
                                                     The Roaring Twenties

Robert Cummings

Favorite Movies:
The Devil and Miss Jones
Moon Over Miami
It Started with Eve

Cary Grant

Favorite Movies: 
Gunga Din
Mr. Blandings Builds his Dream House

Melvyn Douglas

Favorite Movies:
Too Many Husbands
There's Always a Woman
Theodora Goes Wild

William Prince

Favorite Movies:
Cinderella Jones
Destination Tokyo
Objective Burma!
Pillow to Post

Dana Andrews

Favorite Movies:
State Fair
The Best Years of Our Lives
The Ox-Bow Incident 

Joseph Cotten

Favorite Movies: 
Shadow of a Doubt
The Abominable Dr. Phibes
Citizen Kane

Jack Lemmon

Favorite Movies:
It Should Happen to You
Some like it Hot
Three for the Show
Under the Yum Yum Tree

Fred Astaire

Favorite Movies:
Top Hat
Easter Parade
Swing Time
Shall We Dance
Damsel in Distress

*It was really hard to choose between Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly but I decided to go with Fred on this one. I still have a soft spot for Gene though. :) 

Ray Milland

 Favorite Movies:
Easy Living 
Beau Geste
The Major and the Minor 
Dial M for Murder

That was way harder to do than I thought. Haha! Here are some honorable mentions:
Gene Kelly, Tyrone Power, George Brent, James Dean, Don Ameche, Humphrey Bogart, Frank Sinatra, Peter Lawford, Franchot Tone, Robert Young, and Montgomery Clift

*I'm going to try reallllly hard to post my favorite actresses soon! 

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Here are a few of my favorite things... PART ONE

Whatever sort of mood I'm in I can say without a doubt that these songs always remain a favorite for me. I try not to stick to really one genre or era but I really do have a soft spot for 60's and 80's music. So here are just a few of my favorite songs. :) Hope you all enjoy!

"With a Girl like You"- The Troggs

"Tenderness" - General Public

"Time after Time" - Cyndi Lauper

"Help Me Rhonda" - The Beach Boys

"Come on Eileen" - Dexy's Midnight Runners

"Everywhere" - Fleetwood Mac

"Teresa" - Eddie Cochran

"My Guy" - Mary Wells

"Be My Baby" - The Ronettes

"Isn't This a Lovely Day" - Fred Astaire

"The Wanderer" - Dion

"And I Love Her" - The Beatles

"Don't Worry Baby" - The Beach Boys

"You Can Call Me Al" - Paul Simon

"Fakin' It" - Simon & Garfunkel

"Hold Me" - Fleetwood Mac

Friday, May 9, 2014

Mitzi Gaynor is Lovely.

Be sure to catch on TCM a Mitzi Gaynor movie marathon. Some of the films include "The Joker is Wild" and "Les Girls' For a complete list of her films showing on TCM go to for more details

Friday, April 25, 2014

Oh Me! Oh My! Jeffrey Lynn movies airing on TCM!! Count me in!

 TCM will be airing a few of Jeffrey Lynn's films within the next couple of months. These films aren't usually on TCM that much but they are interesting and fun to watch.

MAY 16th: My Love Came Back(1940) stars Olivia De Havilland, Jeffrey Lynn, Charles Winniger, Eddie Albert, and Jane Wyman. Quirky romantic comedy about a young violinist who falls in love with a young business manager.

June 6th : Law of the Tropics (1941) stars Constance Bennett and Jeffrey Lynn. I'm not giving away information about this movie because it's just soooooo ridiculous! Just watch it for Jeffrey's bizarre mustache. ;)

June 11th: A Child is Born(1940) stars Geraldine Fitzgerald and Jeffrey Lynn. A convict is about to give birth to her child in a maternity ward where she feels she doesn't belong.

July 4th: The Fighting 69th(1940) stars James Cagney, Pat O' Brien, Dennis Morgan, and Jeffrey Lynn. One of my favorite films about the war! You definitely need to check it out!

Friday, April 18, 2014

TCM Classic Film Festival 2014 aka the best experience I've ever had!

Hello Hello Hello!!!

I have so many things I wanna tell you about my experience at the festival but I'll just tell you guys the basics. First off I got to meet my best friends aka the Non-Fleshies - Kate(
I met her twice previously), Casey, Millie, and Sarah. They are the coolest, funniest, sweetest people I ever meet. I'm incredibly shy but they made me so comfortable and at ease.

The pass that I had limited movies that I was able to go to, so I ended up missing out on seeing some movies but everything worked out just the way it was supposed to be.

The first movie that I saw was one of my absolute favorite movies, "The Thin Man". I went with Millie, Casey, and Sarah to go see it and what an experience! As fun as it is to see "The Thin Man" on my tv, it was such a better experience seeing it on the big screen with my best friends.

After seeing "The Thin Man", all of us went and saw the original "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". I'd never seen any of the versions so it was a definite treat to be able to see the original. It was so good and eerily fun to watch!

The last film that I saw on Friday was "The World of Henry Orient" with Casey and Kate. Merrie Spaeth and Paula Prentiss were there to talk about the experience working on the film. It really was so fascinating to hear what it was like to work on the film and what it was like to work with Peter Sellers. I had heard previously from various websites about Peter's attitude offset but what those two ladies said was nothing but good things. He definitely seemed like a character. I also never saw the film and I gotta say it was kooky and fun! I'm glad I saw it!

On Saturday we all went and saw the original 1954 classic "Godzilla" and let me tell you what an experience!!! It was so exhilarating and fun to see the original. I embarrassingly have seen 1998 version with Matthew Broderick but the original was sooooooo much better. Honestly if you haven't seen the original Japanese version, you need to get on that! You won't regret it at all!

Originally Kate and I were going to go see "The Stranger's Return" because we are both huge fans of Franchot Tone and Miriam Hopkins but they ended up only letting so many people in, so we went and saw "A Hard Day's Night" and I'm sooooo glad we did. I had seen the film before but it was Kate's first time seeing it. We also wanted to see because it was being introduced by Alec Baldwin. Kate and I are hugggggge fans of his show "30 Rock", so we were both ecstatic when he came out to introduce it. I had literally such a ball watching that movie on the big screen. It was so much fun and plus Kate really enjoyed it as well.

The last film of the day for me was "Freaks" and I saw that with Millie and Kate. We saw it at midnight  and it was sooo perfect!! If you ever get the chance to see that movie on the big screen you've got to see it. What a thrilling film!

Sunday I only saw two films and they were "Sunday in New York" and "Lady from Shanghai" and both films were fun to watch. "Sunday in New York" was my favorite film that I saw at the festival and it also happens to be Kate's absolute favorite film. Robert Osborne introduced the film which made the experience even more memorable.
That movie is so cute and fun and just so darn perfect, that after we watched it I wanted to watch it again. It was soooo marvelous!

"Lady from Shanghai" was probably the quirkiest, oddest film that I saw at the festival but I still had a blast watching it with my best friends. My favorite line from the film is loooooooooooveeerrrr! Hahaha it's so funny when Everett Sloane repeatedly says it throughout the film.

I also want to say it was wonderful meeting so many other bloggers such as Laura, Raquelle, K.C., Marya, and Trevor. Sorry I didn't really say anything but I was a little overwhelmed by the excitment of everything and two I'm incredibly shy but it was still fantastic to meet so many people that are also fans of old films. I also got to get a picture with Ben Mankiewicz and it was so amazing to meet him. He and his wife are so incredibly nice and I'm such a fan of his. I really love watching him introduce films on TCM.

So there you have it! I will be posting a part two to this but it'll be centered on the activities I did outside of the festival. So stay tuned!